Year in Review
just some end of year pondering…
In looking back over this year, I think this stands as the year I finally grew up. I feel like I did about 5 years' worth of growing up this past year. That only occurs when there is some painful or traumatic event that accelerates it. In my case it was the final breakup with the beast, which shattered some deep part of my soul which will never be fully restored. It took me the better part of the year to finally accept that fact. I wanted full healing, but some things once lost can never be regained. I was so angry, so hurt, so emptied out. Eventually all those emotions gave way to resignation, then ultimately peace. That’s life. You live and you learn. What im left with is this, that each person that comes through our life is for a reason. We’re all connected somehow and nothing is left to chance. We are fine threads weaving events into one another’s lives, sometimes not even realizing the profound and deep impact we leave behind. Things we consider insignificant can be monumental in another person’s life, without us ever realizing it. I think about The One Who Got Away. He and I never dated, but I had a huge crush on him for several years. And his choice to bypass me (even though there was strong indication that he felt the same way about me) to marry someone else, left a profound mark on my life. it was an event, that would seem to have nothing to do with me, and yet it sent me into a downward spiral that nearly spun my life out of control. I am only now just recovering from it. I am sure he would never imagine the effect he had on my life. Another person who made a huge difference (and also will never know) is Shady Guy. he was the one who pulled me from the horrific pit the Beast threw me into. Again, he and I never dated, he simply offered a friendship. A silly, nothing friendship and yet that would end being the one thing I needed to unravel myself from the beast’s web, once and for all. Who knew. Our friendship barely meant anything and yet it made a world of difference. Even the beast, too, was meant to be a part of my life for whatever black reason. I learned a lot about life, love and most importantly, my relationship with God. Each one had an important part to play. Whether small or large, my life has been touched and affected, both positively and negatively, by all of them.
I wonder who will be destined to cross paths with me in 2010? Hopefully someone worthwhile!
Happy new year!
In looking back over this year, I think this stands as the year I finally grew up. I feel like I did about 5 years' worth of growing up this past year. That only occurs when there is some painful or traumatic event that accelerates it. In my case it was the final breakup with the beast, which shattered some deep part of my soul which will never be fully restored. It took me the better part of the year to finally accept that fact. I wanted full healing, but some things once lost can never be regained. I was so angry, so hurt, so emptied out. Eventually all those emotions gave way to resignation, then ultimately peace. That’s life. You live and you learn. What im left with is this, that each person that comes through our life is for a reason. We’re all connected somehow and nothing is left to chance. We are fine threads weaving events into one another’s lives, sometimes not even realizing the profound and deep impact we leave behind. Things we consider insignificant can be monumental in another person’s life, without us ever realizing it. I think about The One Who Got Away. He and I never dated, but I had a huge crush on him for several years. And his choice to bypass me (even though there was strong indication that he felt the same way about me) to marry someone else, left a profound mark on my life. it was an event, that would seem to have nothing to do with me, and yet it sent me into a downward spiral that nearly spun my life out of control. I am only now just recovering from it. I am sure he would never imagine the effect he had on my life. Another person who made a huge difference (and also will never know) is Shady Guy. he was the one who pulled me from the horrific pit the Beast threw me into. Again, he and I never dated, he simply offered a friendship. A silly, nothing friendship and yet that would end being the one thing I needed to unravel myself from the beast’s web, once and for all. Who knew. Our friendship barely meant anything and yet it made a world of difference. Even the beast, too, was meant to be a part of my life for whatever black reason. I learned a lot about life, love and most importantly, my relationship with God. Each one had an important part to play. Whether small or large, my life has been touched and affected, both positively and negatively, by all of them.
I wonder who will be destined to cross paths with me in 2010? Hopefully someone worthwhile!
Happy new year!
I was sitting here trying to come up with a clever one-liner to describe life and I came to the conclusion that life is not one line, it is an entire book. The book is filled with paragraphs, quotes, stories, seasons, incidences, events, epiphanies, etc. But perhaps the most important part is the people in the story, the characters. The characters are the thing that really makes your story come alive; that transform a thought into a conversation or a caring notion into love. And although they are the best part of the story, they can also be the worst, carving a cavity into your chest and stealing essential traits that make you who you are simply by exposing you to hurt and pain that you never knew existed prior to them. But even with those antagonists or should I say THROUGH the antagonists, the main character learns strength, faith, and love that they never would have known if certain characters had not darkened one’s pages. Either way we fall, we fail, we learn, we grow, we mature, we rise up, we improve, we smile once again and then we find how to truly LIVE before our story finally comes to an end.
ReplyDeleteWOW...amen Juan. that was very, very well-said! you should write a book.
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