Winter Snapshots of My True Self...

Wintertime turns me into a bear....oh how I wish I could hibernate till the sun comes out! Here are my beary growlings....

• It doesn’t matter how many years I’ve been doing it, I simply will NEVER get used to waking up at 6:00 a.m. NEVER. I hate it every single morning, have hated it every morning for the last 10 years and will continue to hate it every morning for the next 30 years.
• Im not a morning person and do not like to be talked to before I’ve had at least one cup of coffee (but its even better if you wait till after the 2nd cup). If I must speak, I say as few words as possible. Grunts and growls are mostly what come out. 
• I don’t like people bothering me and I try to keep mostly to myself. I don’t socialize much at work, unless it’s a cute or hot guy, in which case I turn the charm full on. Otherwise, its scowls and glares for the rest of the world.
• Im not a nice person, unless the sun is out. Wintertime finds me very cross and mean. I hate being cold.  And cold mornings are the worst.
• A smile or attention from a cute guy, however, can dissipate the bitterest of my moods…I melt like an icicle caught in a ray of sunshine. That high can last for several hours afterwards as I float dreamily through the rest of the day. Till I remember I will never be with someone so completely out of my league and I come crashing back down to earth.  Then out comes the bitter scowl again…and the bitchy meanness that pervades my very soul.
• I don’t like people. for the most part. I can tolerate them at times and there are groups of people whose company I actually enjoy. But people in general as a species annoy the hell out of me. I wouldn’t mind living in the world all alone.
• My home is my haven. I don’t like leaving it unless its to go somewhere fun and exciting.
• Im 35 but still feel 25 inside. If only the image in the mirror agreed.
• Disney still captivates me, no matter how old I get nor how many times I go there. It’s a magical place.
• Acting makes me happy. Being involved with plays is where I feel true fulfillment and the greatest joy. Everything else simply feels like a footnote.
• I’ve had to put my life on hold while I raise another person and while I love him dearly, I cant wait till he turns 18 so that I can pursue my own dreams.
• I hate my job with a passion. It drains every ounce of happiness and energy away, leaving crumbs for the rest of my life.
• I love God, but I hate religion. Which leaves me in a middle of nowhere kinda state. And im well aware what the bible has to say about us lukewarm, neither here nor there peeps…(I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. Revelation 3:15-16)  Not a pretty picture. Even so, I find both sides so extreme. I just want to be me, enjoy life on my terms and still go to heaven anyways.