Cat's In The Cradle
"My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you......"
I remember you coming home from a long hard day of work and we were instructed not to bother you, to leave you alone. You ate your dinner alone and if I sat next to you, I had to be quiet and not pester you with my silliness. After dinner, you usually went to your car and sat there until bedtime, drinking your beers, smoking cigarettes and listening to your music...On the weekends, you slept through most of them and so help us God if we dared to disturb you.
Now I'm the one coming home from a long hard day's of work...tired and not wanting to be disturbed...to eat my dinner in peace and quiet. But now you expect me to show up for you?? To come visit you in that awful place, to sit with you and chat with you while you eat dinner...To spend my time with you...to give you what you rarely ever gave me....how does that work??? And if I choose not to do it, then I'm the bad one...well, you set the example...i just followed...I'm just like you..
Its funny how parents think they can demand the very things they deprived us of..
"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then"
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you......"
I remember you coming home from a long hard day of work and we were instructed not to bother you, to leave you alone. You ate your dinner alone and if I sat next to you, I had to be quiet and not pester you with my silliness. After dinner, you usually went to your car and sat there until bedtime, drinking your beers, smoking cigarettes and listening to your music...On the weekends, you slept through most of them and so help us God if we dared to disturb you.
Now I'm the one coming home from a long hard day's of work...tired and not wanting to be disturbed...to eat my dinner in peace and quiet. But now you expect me to show up for you?? To come visit you in that awful place, to sit with you and chat with you while you eat dinner...To spend my time with you...to give you what you rarely ever gave me....how does that work??? And if I choose not to do it, then I'm the bad one...well, you set the example...i just followed...I'm just like you..
Its funny how parents think they can demand the very things they deprived us of..
"And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then"
Yeah that’s a tough one. If they weren’t related to you it would be a lot easier to exercise the whole “eye for an eye” thing. It not only makes us feel kind of bad, but others will look at it and judge us for being wrong when they have no idea what the situation really is. Nonetheless, the main reason we must resist our desire to throw the past in another’s face is because eventually, it affects US in a negative way. We will live with the shame and the guilt and that’s something you don’t want huli. But then again, decision’s yours.
ReplyDeleteI was just venting..that's why i blog cuz otherwise i'd explode. i really need to see a therapist but use blogging as therapy instead. i have alot of deep-seated anger towards my parents because ultimately i feel they were responsible for 75% of my shitty life. they did such an awful job as parents. people should not be allowed to have kids unless they graduate from kid-raising academy or something. cuz that's why most of us are walking around all effed up. but anyways, i do go visit him once a week and will continue to do so until he passes. i just need to vent every now and then. thanks for reading though!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya, I do the same thing. and yes, I agree, parents should go to a parenting class because they have the ability to really mess a kids life up. physical abuse is a crime, but most parents get away with mental abuse. I'm proud of you for feeling so frustrated but still being such a decent person that you will continue to see him. That's very great of you! It probably doesn't mean anything, but I'm proud of you for marching forward through the tough times and the problems. Things will get better huli! keep writing buddy, I'm reading! :)
ReplyDelete