blind dates...SUCK

Because no matter what your friends say, their perception is always vastly different from your perception and one woman’s treasure is another woman’s trash. So lets recap. Last night I went on a blind date which was set up by one of my besties. He was very highly recommended by her so I figure, what the hell, I’d give it a chance. In hindsight, I should’ve trusted my inner instinct which told me not to trust her judgment in men, as she only seems to date mofos herself. So I meet the guy and he is attractive enough, certainly, and nice enough, and charming enough. You know, all the superficial areas, which I now see is why she liked him so much. She’s very superficial when it comes to men. But unlike her, I look beneath the surface. I look at the inside: the heart, mind, character...the soul of a person. Now after just one date, its pretty hard to get a sense of who a person is , was and will be, but you can get some clues. He decided to cook me dinner, which is great. A man who can cook always a plus. However, first thing he did wrong, he made this plan without checking with me first. And he went to grocerty store to buy supplies, again without checking with me first. How did he know if I would like what he was making. He just assumed I would eat it anyways. I am a vegetarian. He was not aware of this of course but had he just told me his plans to begin with, I could’ve let him know. So there he is cooking a very meat-heavy meal, rice with chicken and beans with ham, plus fried plaintains. I did tell him while he was cooking that I do not eat meat but it was kinda too late for that. Now I didn’t have to eat it but it would’ve been rude on my part, after he went to trouble of making it. So I did eat it and no, I did not have to eat the chicken but I did anyways. The meal itself was very good, delicious even. its just...that I haven’t eaten chicken in YEARS (long story) and this mofo had me eating chicken on our first date! This is what happens after several glasses of wine...make that, an entire bottle of of red wine. Yes I DRANK THE WHOLE THING. He was drinking too which led to him being very kissy/touchy-feely and me...well...reciprocating. We both should have had more self-control. But I feel its worse on his part because he was less intoxicated therefore should have had more self control. Eventually we ended up full on making out hardcore, practically having sex on a mattress on a floor just a few hours after we met. GROSS. Now thankfully I did keep my pants on and managed to leave before we got too carried away but not before mofo gave me peek of what I would be missing (not much). GROSSER. Who does that?! Pervertsmofosmenanyman hey guys..umm...unless its SPECTACULAR, please PLEASE don’t give us sneak previews. I don’t know what u expect from us at that point. falling to our knees in absolute awe and adoration to worship at thy mighty cock? Sorry, total turn off. I mean at that point, I just wanted to GTFO there as quickly as possible. so that was my blind date...final verdict: while he be good for a hookup, im not in the market for a hookup, and there’s not much else I can do with him. Esp when I’ve seen his little friend and I have to say...I don’t care to see it again. I also hate the fact that within an hour or so of meeting him, he influenced me in very negative ways and had me compromising my values and beliefs (I take my vegetarianism very seriously okay!!)with very little persuasion on his part. Wtf is wrong with me. Have I really gotten that weak. Is it the fact that its been 3 years since my last bf and 2 years since I had a date? Have my defenses all but disappeared. So this is what im left with, if you bring out the worst in me within hours of meeting me, then of what use can you be to me? This is def not someone I should spend anymore time with. What, is he gonna have me breaking the law next. Today its eating chicken, tomorrow its robbing a bank! Where does it end!?
The other guy chasing me is my mofo ex who currently has to wear an ankle bracelet because he violated parole, is separated from his 2nd wife, living with his parents..barely has anything to do with his kids, one of whom is my son. And did I mention I didn’t hesitate to give him another go round or 3.... Loser that he is. Like..seriously where is my guard at! He has not left me alone since then. I told him we couldn’t be together, we're not on same page, want diff things, blah, blah. Mofo texts back "ummm so does that mean we’re not hanging out anymore?" (!!!) DUMB ASS. So last nite he texted me while I was on my date. And I responded by telling DUMB ASS we should hang out later this week (??!!! THE FUCK??!!!). which makes me the bigger DUMBER ASSER...ahhh blame it on the alcohol.
Very disappointed today. In myself because I KNOW BETTER and yet here I am settling for shit. but also disappointed in my options and consequently, the stupid fucking choices I end up making. And most of all at the universe. because these are the only options she EVER throws my way which force me to either settle for it, as least for the moment, or stay alone.
well today...alone doesn’t seem so bad...think of all the chickens who can live another day..