This Picture SUCKS....

Most women complain because they tend to meet/date a lot of commitment phobes. Gee I wish that was worst I came across. Me, well just reviewing my past boyfriends/guys I’ve dated, there were deadbeat losers, con artists, pedophiles, sex addicts, sociopaths, criminals, compulsive liars, chronic cheaters, woman beaters, etc. Bottom of the shit barrel kind of stuff. WHY??? And HOW??? How can one woman have dated such a vast collection of LOSER MOFOS....that must take some special kind of talent, to find the absolute worst piece of shit there is and drawing him to me like a moth to a flame. If and when I do meet nice men, they never seem to be interested. But put a mofo within 10 feet of me and I wont be able to peel him away from me. What is about me that repels the nice ones, and yet hardcore attracts the bad ones. Im really just at a loss for words here. This has ALWAYS been my story. What is wrong with this picture, what am I doing wrong? I do not look like a bad girl, I do not have tattoos, or piercings, don’t dress like a hooker, don’t have a fake tan or fake nails or fake anything....you know all the superficial things that would explain attracting that type of man. I have a total bitchface I always look lke I will bite your penis right off. I don’t wear revealing clothes because I have nothing to reveal really. My personality is mostly quiet and reserved, until I drink and then I start doing cartwheels and sharing all my mofo stories. So what exactly do these men see in me? I just don’t get it. MOFOS LOVE ME. I currently have 4 chasing me, 2 of which I got rid of over the weekend. Oh UNIVERSE...please...DO BETTER. FML...FTW
And I still STILL mourn the one who got away. Its been 6 years now, you think it still wouldn’t hurt so fresh. I still cry when I think of what could’ve been. He could’ve spared me a long line of mofos. Instead he quietly chose someone he was not in love with and married her. Last year they had a baby. Oh god did I cry... Perhaps I should note here, that we never actually...you know like... DATED. He was someone from the church I used to go to back when church was still very much a part of my life. He was quiet, sweet, very SHY and most importantly, a GOOD MAN. I especially loved that he was very involved in the homeless ministry in our church. We had mutual crushes on each other but we were both too shy to do anything about it. I also felt that he needed to put his big boy pants on and asked me out on a date instead of me making first move. I waited patiently for 2 years. And then one day, he showed up with her....this ho came ouf of left field, threw herself at him and well...the bitch won at the end of the day. As ugly and bland as she is (dumber than a box of rocks). Some say he married her out of pity and because he got attached to her kid. I don’t know. I think he married her because he was a coward. He took the easy way out. They say he had been badly hurt in a previous relationship and well, my take on it is he married the one who couldn’t break his heart. and that’s worked out for him so far because he seems to be really, genuinely happy with his family. I envy him. I hate him. I mourn him. I STILL CRY FOR HIM. This is part of what is eating away at my soul. why I drink and waste my time with mofos. In a way, I have given up on ever finding a good one because that was the closest I came and I couldn’t land him despite the fact that he LIKED me and we were both single for 2 YEARS. Im destined for mofos it seems. If I were smarter, I’d at least start charging them for my time and trouble.
So enough about that. I had a good time at my niece’s bday party this weekend. The pic above was me after drinking an entire bottle of wine, so much for not drinking. (and no mofos were around to witness the above photo so dont blame my drunken hoboness on being the reason why i only attract losers...i can usually keep it together). It was a blast. Apparently I was sharing my mofo stories with all the young girls and telling them “if a mofo shows you his wee-wee (yes I said wee-wee, I was drunk and talking to young girls) on the first date, dance away do the mofo dance, step away”. I invented some mofo step away dance...it was a HIT. Hey somebody gotta teach these younguns about mofo perverts. Wish somebody had taught me way back when, I learned all my mofo lessons the HARD way. I also told blind date mofo to step off because I did not appreciate his aggressive forwardness on our first date and I had no interest in hanging out again. He got the picture, apologized and left me alone. Also told mofo ex to hit the road and not contact me anymore. The other 2 mofos are harmless and know their place. Which is fine, a mofo can circle me all he wants so long as he knows his place.
Again.....universe please do BETTER!!!