Working it out...

So, I broke down and joined a gym.  I should note here that as much as I am athletically-inclined/treadmill lover, I have NEVER joined a gym.  Always kept a treadmill in my house.  I never liked the idea of gyms because I despise working out with an audience.  I like being totally alone so I can lose myself in the running and the music playing on my IPOD and have epic fantasies about running marathons, doing crazy cirque du soleil acrobatics, warrior queen slaying mofos left and right [SPARTANS!!], practicing my Oscar speech, blah.  Whatever gets me through the 45 minutes.  But beggars cant be choosy and right now my beloved treadmill is not avail to me, so I’ve had to suck it up and join the masses at the gym.  Found a small little gym near my job.  Went there Saturday.  And I was right, god how I hate working out with other people especially MEN.  I don’t want anyone looking at me, im here to sweat and look UGLY and get the job done.  Not to be cute and impress you.  can I just say how much I hate men.  I truly do.  I consider myself a lesbian man-hating feminist at heart.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t extend to the special place where it counts, bitch does what she wants and it’s the male anatomy she craves, but in my heart I can be a lesbian and hate men all I want.  Im so done with all of them, they are so disgusting and disrespectful. [ YOGA, deep inhale, big exhale]…there were only a couple of men there, professional types, but I just felt so UNCOMFORTABLE surrounded by them.  really affected my workout.  I barely managed 2 miles on the treadmill.    [yes mofo I can see you looking at me in the mirror, no you’re not being sneaky, pay attention to your fucking treadmill and stop eyeing me!]  how could I relax and just focus on my workout wit these mofos giving me the sneaky eye.  I became too concerned with making sure I didn’t look like an ass.  THIS IS WHY I HATE THE FUCKING GYM!  Oh well, got no choice right now, but I don’t expect to go too often...i’ve also been doing YOGA, which has really helped me and after 2 weeks, I can see a difference in my body.  Yoga has also curbed my drinking.  This past weekend I did get a wine bottle but it was first drink I’ve had in 2 weeks.  Pretty good, considering I was drinking every night.  And only reason I bought wine bottle was because one of my besties dropped in unannounced.  With another friend in tow.  No, that’s not rude at all.  [yogasan] Anyways, HORNY Mover Mofo is still trying to text me like he did nothing wrong and got a halo of sparkles over his head.  MOFO please!  He thinks im overreacting cuz apparently he texted a bunch of peeps (or so he says) and im the only one who wont forgive him.  WHATEVER.  First of all, I don’t like him, so already he’s got 3 strikes against him automatically, second of all, its not my fault other people are dumb and allow disrespectful shit to go down and next day can forget it with a bullshit text apology.  Fuck you.  I don’t roll like that.  you piss me off, you better apologize with a phone call or in person (unless you’re a creeper like him otherwise, just leave me alone) and be willing to do some major asskissing too.  [You must not know about me! TO THE LEFT MOFO!]  he actually had nerve to say that I HAD to forgive him.  come again??(!!!)  MOFO, WHOUTHINKUIZ?!!!!  SIT the FUCK DOWN U!!! 

[YOGA*prayer pose*-deep, DEEP breath]……...................................

gonna take a whole lot of YOGA zen to curb the EVILBITCH residing within.  But it did curb the STRONG urge I had to unleash a fury of MOFO I WILL CUT U in a special place with something sharp!!! texts to him.  perhaps yoga can turn me into a lady after all.. *blinkinginnocently*

Anyhow, I am feeling much better this week.  And the blessedbirds’ anointing did bring me a small amount of good luck.  Assholes wonderful people at the mortgage mediator office caved and agreed to lower my price WAY down in order to get my condo sold and not foreclosed.  Here’s hoping I get another buyer and SOOON.  And my gym membership got comped for about 2 months.  Okay, I’ll take what I can get!