thats more like it...i guess (?)

So after submitting like crazy for background work, I finally got called twice.  One was for a movie shooting in NYC featuring one of my all-time fave actors, like EVER.  I really wanted to do this one but unfortunately, due to my work schedule, I had to turn it down.  This was one of the movies I was trying to get on during the Labor Day weekend and I finally do get called and I couldn’t go.  Its called RESPONSIBILITY.  This is why you have to go after your dreams when you are young and have no responsibilities.  When you can afford to get fired or you’re still young enough not to give 2 fucks about it.  But I was busy raising a child back then.  It always seems in my life, that I am always one step behind.  Never quite catching up.  Getting back to the present, perhaps I wouldn't have been able to handle being  on the same set as my fave actor anyways.  I would very likely hyperventilate, give myself an asthma attack and pass the fuck out.  or maybe just get kicked off the set for making rapist eyes at him sneakily trying to take a pic of him.  Moving on.  The 2^nd call was for a new tv show coming out.  I did end up working on that one.  I played a detective, no lines, just standing around pretend-talking to someone, then going inside a house, at one point crossing the street, looking very important and detective-like.  Minor stuff and I have a feeling it will get cut out in the final aired version anyways.  I got to see the 2 lead actors up close and personal, one of them was aidan quinn.  He walked right past me, almost brushing shoulders with me before I realized who he was, looked me dead in the eye with the bluest eyes ever, and said good morning.  I nearly peed myself.  Very, very handsome man, even if he is older these days.  He can still get it!  It was a beautiful fall day, we got out early and that was that.  The actual set time was pretty easy, aside from the actual making it to the set that is. So much shit went wrong, from my car not starting to taking wrong subway to not finding the holding location.  All in an attempt to get me to turn back around.  But I powered through and made it. and this is the way it always is….its always a challenge, there are always obstacles, its always outside my comfort zone.  I suppose if it was easy , everyone would do it.  or maybe following your dreams has to come at a price, it has to be a struggle.  To make sure this is what you really want.  Why else would I put myself through this.  In the end, it is still worth it.  every time.