SIT DOWN YOU!

Last two nights I have been drinking wine BEFORE eating dinner and well several glasses of wine later, I am texting and friend requesting ugly mofos like its my job.  Including Horny Mover Mofo and ugh, MOFO ex.  I vaguely recall extending Horny Mover Mofo an invitation to come visit me sometime.  What the hell?!  my first thoughts this morning were NO NO NO!!!  I cant even begin to describe how much I want to bitchslap myself today.  Not to worry, I can get out of that just by being a mean cold bitch to him should he ever try to take me up on my offer.  But fuck, wine & horniness (im in the part of my cycle where im eyeing every mofo I come across like he was the last mofo on earth-thank u mother nature for insuring the human species will survive!)….NOT  a good combo.  Thankfully I did not go further than texting and friend requesting and no ugly horny mofos showed up at my door because you know I would’ve let them in (SIT the FUCK DOWN YOU!).  Also I did an exercise tape while drunk and now today my back is all kinds of messed up.  Who the hell exercises when they’re drinking?!    

SITTING myself DOWN today because I have just about had it with all my drunken fuckery.  I really do need a good man to hold me down.. literally because I JUST CANT with myself anymore!  I don’t listen to me!  I just want to behave like a normal woman of my age….not like a bratty gay guy (I swear my inner person is really a gay man).  I just don’t know what the answer is.  Maybe I need a therapist.  And probably some AA too.