Missing a Piece (?)

So I am trying to blog something other than a bitchy rant  (wah, wah, mofo, bitch, wah, cut u! wah)  

I am thankful for the good things in my life.   I have my health, Im independent, I live in a beautiful place, I have a good job, I have a good group of friends, a small inner circle, but a good one…….  i come and go as I please, I answer to no one, and I have no drama in my life.  On paper then, it would seem like im in a very good place….and I am, no doubt……sooooo.......why  aren’t I happier.  Is it that one missing piece that prevents me from experiencing true happiness?  Are we only truly fulfilled when we find our soul mates?  I was recently reading a book (Paulo Coelho, love him)  that said something along those lines.  That our whole purpose in life is to find our soul mate(s), that we have more than one and that it is just finding pieces of ourselves which were scattered all over the universe and through time and our mission is simply to find one or maybe two in each life we live…or something to that effect, I might’ve gotten it a little twisted in the retelling.whatever.  As much as I hate to agree, because it is in direct opposition to my feminist independent nature, I have to say there might be some truth there.  And if so, have I ever really stumbled across one of my soulmates...........my immediate response is HELL TO THE MOFO NO!..but that might be more because admitting I may have crossed paths with a soulmate would mean conceding that part of me is hidden in some worthless fuck…or in some guy who chose another i.e. The One Who Got Away or even Old Friend….and well….that is the very answer I have been running from for many many years.  Can we outrun our destiny though…..and if we succeed, do we always end up feeling like something is missing…and wondering why when we should be so happy and grateful, we instead feel okay, content even, but definitely LACKING something, even if we cannot quite put into words what that something is.  And is that something another person (your soulmate, as the book says) or is it just fulfilling your purpose (my theory)…..I know I have not fulfilled my purpose although I do feel closer now than ever.  Im also not entirely sure what my purpose is….i just live life..day to day…I make changes when necessary and so far so good.  but im not changing the world here.  maybe that is at the root of the void inside me…things to ponder.